My sperm donor journey...

Another update

noreply@blogger.com (donor mom to be) — Mon, 06 Feb 2006 09:58:00 +0000

The last few weeks have been interesting ... I headed home to New Zealand on December 22 to spend christmas with my family, and 6 weeks later I am still here. A bit of a family situation arose, and to cut a long story short, I have to decided it's important for me to stay on this side of the world for at least the foreseeable future.

So ... where does that leave me in terms of my sperm donor?? Well, obviously, the whole being-on-the-other-side-of-the-world thing unfortunately means I cannot continue artificially inseminating with him. It is very unfortunate to find someone who can help and who fits my criteria, to then not be able to use them. Sigh.

But - when I searched the net for U.S. based donors several months ago, I did happen to come across ONE (yes ... one) New Zealand based donor, so I kept his details. Unfortunately he lives in the totally opposite end of the country to me (typical, huh!) but we have been in touch, and we finally met for coffee this weekend when he was visiting my hometown.

He was nice, appeared relatively normal (haha) and spent a good two hours chatting about the whole thing. He already has one successful donation under his belt (so to speak) and is organising fresh blood tests to be performed this week. Because of the location issue, we are going to attempt to ship the sperm. I have no idea just yet where I will get the shipping equipment required over on this side of the world(?!) but if nothing else, I will order some packages from the States.

There are a few things I need to get sorted over here first ... such as setting up a new place to live, a new job etc ... but he has said we can start simply whenever I feel ready and comfortable to go ahead.

So, all is not doomed. :-)

Long awaited update

noreply@blogger.com (donor mom to be) — Sat, 24 Dec 2005 03:13:00 +0000

Well, I didn't get pregnant last month. I was hoping, but of course, even in the best of circumstances it can still take time.

I didn't find out for certain until December 10th, but then I was off to Canada for a bit, and now I am sitting on the other side of the world catching up with family at a mid-summer's christmas! :-)

Needless to say I tried to fit in another round of inseminations this month, but what will the holiday season madness and the pre-arranged travel plans, we are waiting out this month until everything calms down.

Maybe a successful 2006 will be on its way for me...? :-)

What to do...

noreply@blogger.com (donor mom to be) — Sat, 03 Dec 2005 02:46:00 +0000

I don't know what to do with myself. I am feeling kind of glum because I stupidly decided to take a pregnancy test today - being the "earliest possible day" for testing.

The box says it can detect pregnancy hormone 5 days before the date your period is due, so I figured that if I was pregnant, it would be detectable NOW. It categorically, without a doubt, said negative.

I KNOW it is early ... and I KNOW it is "not over until it's over", but it has definitely bummed me out. I even found myself trying to figure out how I would fit in the next round of inseminations amidst the madness of Christmas! Ugh.

Waiting...

noreply@blogger.com (donor mom to be) — Mon, 28 Nov 2005 04:59:00 +0000

I am starting to wish I could just sleep through the rest of this two week wait. How is it, that under any other circumstances two weeks would speed by in a flash? When you are waiting to pee on a stick, however, it all but takes F-O-R-E-V-E-R!!!!

Today I found myself thinking: "That's it!! I mustn't be pregnant!" It might feel like it all happened a lifetime ago, but hell, it is only 5 days since I last inseminated!! How crazy is my brain right now...

But on a positive note, my temps have been rising exactly as they should be, so at least I can say I definitely ovulated this month, woohoo! Small victories. :-)

Now for the Two Week Wait...

noreply@blogger.com (donor mom to be) — Wed, 23 Nov 2005 00:12:00 +0000

Well, I guess I am officially in "two week wait" territory now. It has been less than one day and it is already driving me crazy! Sigh.

I inseminated again yesterday and today, so that is it for this cycle. Hopefully I ovulated. My basal body temperature has been doing very weird things, so I'm not really sure. Or maybe I am just doubting my biochemistry because I want it to have happened so much! Doubting whether my body actually did what it has probably been doing like clockwork every month for years ... I've just never bothered to observe it so closely before! :-D

So. It is all up to the gods now. I do have my fingers crossed, but I'm not sure that they have much of an influence on the actions of my fallopian tubes and uterus. ;-)

Inseminations one and two...

noreply@blogger.com (donor mom to be) — Sat, 19 Nov 2005 02:05:00 +0000

Well, inseminations 1 and 2 are done. I made the 2 hour drive up north early yesterday and got back late today. They were possibly a little early, because the lovely OvaCue finally informed me this morning that my "most fertile day" this month will be next Tuesday. But live sperm can live an inordinate length of time inside - under the right circumstances - and there's no loss because I will be inseminating again come Monday and Tuesday anyway.

It was also quite good to actually practise my insemination techniques a little. I don't think yesterday's one was all that successful because even after taking a nap for an HOUR post-insem., as soon as I stood up and went to the bathroom, what appeared to be the WHOLE LOT flew into the toilet bowl!! I don't think it really was the whole lot, but it was enough to make me think "Dang!"

This afternoon, however, I got up after 30 minutes and ... nothing. No trickle-down effect whatsoever! :-) I did alter my technique ever so slightly today, so I will stick to version two next week.

Stats and Supplies

noreply@blogger.com (donor mom to be) — Tue, 15 Nov 2005 06:32:00 +0000

Ok, so the OvaCue is proving to be a fascinating little purchase. :-) As a result, another insemination date revision has been made. I am now going to make the 2 hour drive up north on Thursday, inseminate Thursday afternoon, then again on Friday. I may also still do a Monday and Tuesday insemination next week, but we will play that one by ear for now.

I went to the local pharmacy today and picked up four simple little oral syringes. I then got a cup out of the cupboard and sterilized it with an alcohol swab. Such simple pieces of equipment, but equipment that could nevertheless become significant players in one of the greatest changes of my life.

(I also walked through the cute and adorable baby clothes section of the store, but resisted the urge to buy anything. :-)

I read somewhere recently that expectorant (the stuff that thins out flu-induced mucus on your chest) also does the same thing to cervical mucus. Of course, loose cervical mucus makes each little sperm cell's journey a LOT easier than goopy plug-like mucus. The "suggestion" is to take a dose of expectorant both before and after you inseminate. Very interesting! So I add a packet of that to my shopping cart as well. Who knows ... it might all help in some little way.

The OvaCue arrives!

noreply@blogger.com (donor mom to be) — Fri, 11 Nov 2005 23:25:00 +0000

The OvaCue arrived yesterday just as the internet had promised, woohoo! Good thing too, because after I read the instructions I discovered that you have to start taking the readings from day 2 of your cycle! Although, you can start as late as day 4, but that is the absolute latest in order for the information you receive from the machine to be accurate. Today is day 3, so luckily I've made it just in time to find out what exciting ovulatory data this month has in store for me! Hooray. :-)

I am starting to get excited about the thought of inseminating in 7 days. I don't want to get my hopes up though. I have to think of this round as a "practise run" just in case nothing eventuates. But I am already starting to wonder just how many "practise runs" I will be able to take ... if this one doesn't work, I have to wait until early next year to try again because I am going away for a month or two from December / January. Oh well, I will just have to wait and see.

Cycle start

noreply@blogger.com (donor mom to be) — Wed, 09 Nov 2005 17:34:00 +0000

Day one of my cycle began today, so a flurry of e-mails between myself and my donor ensued this morning. So far, we have figured out that I will inseminate on Friday the 18th, Monday the 21st and possibly the Tuesday as well. Being live unfrozen sperm that I am using, this should cover the window of fertility as long as my cycle follows its normal pattern.

I wanted to get the OvaCue fertility predictor before my next cycle began, but my period came earlier than I had anticipated (...which is is another reason why I should get a more reliable ovulation predictor than I've been using, hahaha...) so I hastily ordered one online today. It is supposed to be the most advanced method available for pinpointing ovulation, and it can even predict up to 7 days in advance!! That's got to be worth a shot. :-)

The website claims it can provide next day delivery, but it also said I would be emailed with confirmation of my order. Which I am still waiting for...

Interviews abound

noreply@blogger.com (donor mom to be) — Tue, 08 Nov 2005 15:48:00 +0000

I have been talking with a few different donors over this past week. Some live millions of miles away and are pro's at shipping, some live about 8 hours drive away and are prepared to travel, and one lives about 90 minutes away from me, which makes things a lot easier.

This is a complex process, selecting the "right" one. I have spoken to at least 10 different men over the last 7 days, and all have different wants or requirements from this whole process. Initially, I liked one of the further-away guys. He had all the physical and personality attributes I seek in a donor, and communications were going very well at the beginning. Actually, they never stopped going well, they just morphed over time into more of a "co-parenting" arrangement. He was going to do this, he would do that, he would "be there for me forever", he'd come on the hospital visits with me, support me financially while I was off work etc ... and before I knew it, I was dealing with someone who essentially is a complete stranger to me, becoming my lifelong parenting partner!!! I don't want someone who I am tied to. I still want to leave myself free to meet the "man of my dreams" and marry one day. If I had wanted a complicated father-child scenario, I would have sporned a kid from any one of the many guys I have dated over the last decade, hahaha! But that is not what I want. Not from a donor.

So, right now I have decided to go with the guy closest to me. It just so happens that he is also my favorite since he is a family man already (no worries about hidden co-parenting issues) he is married with two ADORABLE children, we look relatively similar, he is intelligent, sporty, musical ... and did I mention that his children are gorgeous??!! :-D

Ok, must go now and order some more ovulation predictor kits, hehehe.

The search

noreply@blogger.com (donor mom to be) — Fri, 04 Nov 2005 05:30:00 +0000

A few weeks ago I started searching the internet for what is out there in the world-wide-web of sperm donation. I looked at donor banks, I put an ad up on one site, and I painstakingly trawled through the fifty bazillion message boards and sites on which donors and recipients can advertise.

Initially I wanted to go with a sperm bank, but after thinking about it for a while, I really DO want to know a bit more about the person who is going to be the biological father of my child. Anyway, the sperm bank I felt most excited about does not even appear to be accepting new clients at the moment anyway! Dang.

To my surprise, I also got a lot of responses to my ad. Unfortunately, none of the men feel 'right' just yet, and I have a pretty good gut feeling about people most of the time. (Well, one of the guys was promising ... until he realised that I was not willing to sleep with him to inseminate. For some reason, contact miraculously ceased after that, haha.)

I have started a couple of e-mail communications back and forth over these last few days, so we will see if anything comes of those...

It begins now...

noreply@blogger.com (donor mom to be) — Thu, 03 Nov 2005 05:51:00 +0000

This week marks the beginning of a journey I have decided to embark upon, the journey of a woman searching for a sperm donor and having a baby.

Different people will undoubtedly have different views on what I am intending to do. I do not have a "supportive partner" sitting at home waiting for me. This is me, all by myself, knowing deep down that I cannot wait forever to have a child. Afterall, I do not see my prince charming waving to me right now from over the horizon!

A few years ago I would never have dreamed of going down the donor route. But - human biology and body clocks are funny things. Especially when they start ticking. :-)

Anyway, if I could fast-forward 10, 12, or even 24 months ahead right now, I would. I would give you all a "sneak peak" as to what to expect from this blog. Pity I can't. I have no idea what is going to unfold here. This blog might end up very short and uneventful. Or, it might turn into something very personal and intense, intriguing and bizarre, and ... hopefully ... fantastic! :-)

For whatever reason, I just feel it is important to blog this process, no matter what happens.

Let the fun begin...