~ The Journey ~

Scan #2

2011-09-21T21:59:00.001+12:00

Well unfortunately I was never able to upload the pictures from the first scan because it turns out they were not in the right format to be able to do so. :-/ BUT .... today was my nuchal translucency scan (at 11 weeks and 2 days) and THIS time I can upload a photo!! So here it is, below! :-)

Everything looked good on the scan, and aside from feeling nauseous pretty much 24/7 for the last 4 weeks (hence my general absence from the blog!) all seems to be progressing well. Today was the first time I actually got to hear the heartbeat (rather than just see it flickering away!) and this time it was going at 159bpm! On Monday (26th) I will officially be 12 weeks!! Woohoo!

Scan #1

2011-08-25T22:53:00.000+12:00

So, I had my first scan on Tuesday (7wks 1day)! I was nervous that there wouldn't be anything there(!) but one wee fetus popped up on the screen and everything looked good, thank goodness!! (Pleeease may it continue that way!!) The baby was measuring four days ahead of itself (7wks 5days) and I saw the flicker of a heartbeat!! The heart rate was 142bpm. :-)

I wanted to upload the pictures from the scan here but am currently having some technical difficulties doing so. :-/ Hopefully I will figure it out soon so I can post them!

Second beta

2011-08-15T17:37:00.000+12:00

So my doctor didn't do a second beta 48 hours after the first because she said she was happy enough with that number as it was. But then a week or so later when I made an appointment to schedule my first scan, the doctor that time decided to send me for a second beta which I had done yesterday.

I got the result this afternoon and this time the beta is 33,000! Going by online beta hCG doubling time calculators I have found, this equates to the numbers doubling every 2.5 days, or every 59.76 hours. :-)

Today I am exactly 6 weeks pregnant. I have my first scan booked in for next Tuesday when I will be 7 weeks and 1 day pregnant.... I feel like time is going sooooo slowly while I wait until then!

Beta result

2011-08-04T22:08:00.002+12:00

So, today I got a beta blood test drawn, and at just 4.5 weeks pregnant it came back at 2790!!!! So that kinda explains why I was heaving and gagging so badly at work this morning.... the morning sickness has really kicked in already! While that in itself is not pleasant, I am still thrilled that it is because I am definitely pregnant, and - as the doctor put it - I have "raging hormones" going on with a beta like that this early on, LOL! :-D

So now I just have to figure out how to actually be able to function properly at work (while being sick) for the next however many weeks it lasts.......!

Lines

2011-08-01T21:32:00.002+12:00

I think I am becoming a pee-on-a-stick addict, lol! I have done a few more tests now and each time the second line gets a little bit darker! Yay!! I still can't believe it. It still feels surreal as I don't really feel any different and can't quite believe this is happening!

My period was officially due today and so far nothing. Fingers crossed it stays that way!

Time for an update...!

2011-07-30T10:30:00.003+12:00

Well, my attempt to get pregnant in June ended in a BFN. :-( I was really sad about that, but also philosophical, given that it was the first attempt with the new donor.

As soon as my cycle started I got in touch with the donor again to see how he was placed to be able to donate again this cycle. (That is the only problem with having a known donor .... they also have their own lives, lol, and I knew that sometimes he has to travel out of town for work etc, so it is pretty much a month-by-month unknown as to whether he will be available to donate or not).

At first it looked doubtful that it would be possible to try this month (for various timetabling reasons), but in the end we were able to find a way to squeeze in some donations between the 15th and 17th of July.

Then this past Thursday (28th), I had a hair appointment. Because I always get a colour done as well as a cut, I thought "what the hell", I'd do a test, just to reassure myself that I really wasn't pregnant and that it would be safe to get the colour done! Thursday was only 10 days post ovulation so I really truly expected the test result to be stark white. I did the test, and to my total surprise there was the faintest, faintest second line ever!! I couldn't believe it .... in fact, I thought I was imagining it....!

So, yesterday (Friday) and today I have done a test again each day, and each day the line is still there but it is still extremely light. It is, however, only 12 days post ovulation today, so still another two days before my period is even due!!

So ....... while I am totally over the moon to see any line at all(!) I am also reminding myself that this is veeeerryy early, and anything can happen this early on (especially as lots of women don't even know they are pregnant at this stage and just get their period like usual, or a couple of days late, and are none the wiser). Ordinarily I wouldn't have even tested until my period was due, but it was just because of my hair appointment that I even bothered to test so early!!

So...... fingers crossed this sticks and that it settles in there for the long haul!!!!! :-D

Another try

2011-06-26T21:42:00.002+12:00

Just to update again .... well I met up with the known donor a couple of weeks ago and all went very well! He is a genuinely nice guy and seems to be doing this for the right reasons. We covered all the testing and contract side of things and continued to talk a lot about all of our expectations etc before proceeding.

Then, last week, we went ahead with the first round of donations! So, now I am officially in the two-week-wait .... eeeeeeee! :-) Two weeks feels like such a long time when you are waiting to see what the outcome is to such an important endeavor, lol!

I will know more in about a week's time ..... fingers crossed!

Update

2011-06-07T22:43:00.003+12:00

Thank you to all of those who left comments on my last post. It warmed my heart, lol. :-) And sorry for the absence too, but after the failed IVF I needed some time out to re-assess everything and figure out 'where to' from here.

I had my follow-up appointment with the doctor at the clinic a couple of weeks after my BFN. There wasn't really anything they could tell me that I didn't already know. The cycle failed. There were no embryos that made it to the freeze-stage. And, as far as the doctor was concerned, no particular or obvious reason as to why - which was the most frustrating part! If there had been an obvious reason at least that would have given us something to work on or change. And as I am paying $10,000 per IVF cycle I wasn't all that keen on doing a repeat performance in a hurry without something being changed etc.

So..... I then resumed my search for a private known-donor. Never mind the fact that I have been searching for one for YEARS already with no success, but I figured I'd give it another go since there was nothing else to lose! And, weirdly enough, I MAY have possibly found one!!! Nothing 100% certain as yet (as we are yet to meet) but the email correspondence so far has us both expressing the same ideas/expectations on the whole process and it looks like we will be meeting for a coffee this weekend! If it all works out, I kind of think this would end up being better in the long run as he is willing to meet any future donor-child (once they turn 18) and I have never felt 100% comfortable with totally anonymous donations anyway (because I know if I had been donor-conceived, if would still have wanted to have the 'chance' to meet the donor as an adult! It just seems natural to me that a child of mine would probably want to know who the person was who helped them come into existence, if at all possible).

So, things are kind of looking up, and we will see how the coffee meeting goes!

BFN

2011-02-12T11:06:00.003+13:00

I have taken a few days to write this because it is has been a very hard week... I started bleeding on Monday, exactly 14 days (and, oddly enough, to the hour!) from the time of the egg retrieval two weeks ago. I wasn't due for my clinic blood test until Wednesday (as they like to do the first blood test post-transfer on day 16) but it was pretty obvious what was happening.

On Wednesday on got the pregnancy blood test done and it confirmed the result was negative.

:-(

The clinic also confirmed that there were no embryos able to be frozen (since the remaining four pretty much all arrested on day 3) so now it is back to square one for me, with a lot of thinking to do.

I have a follow-up appointment with my Doctor at the clinic next Friday 18th February. I have a ton of questions to ask her so I can't wait to see what she says and the suggestions on where to go to from here.

Transfer day

2011-01-31T20:11:00.005+13:00

So, Saturday was transfer day. I went to the clinic with great excitement and expectations for the best, but instead I got a mixture of bad and ok....

It turns out that all but one of the embryos had stopped developing. :-( And the one remaining embryo was 'ok' but not as far advanced as they said it should have been by day 5. I was in shock and cried a lot.... the poor nursing staff stuck with me sobbing in the surgery room chair, ugh.

Anyway.... I got to see my tiny wee remaining embryo on the screen before they transferred it into me, and the transfer itself went fine. It was just all the emotion of being told none of the others survived (when I was totally NOT expecting that news at all!) and the worry about the less than perfect embryo transferred not making it either. :-/

I am trying to remain positive (of course) but I find myself kind of preparing myself for the possibility that the transferred embryo won't continue developing and that this whole IVF cycle might be a bust. But I don't even want to think about that right now. :-(

I have a blood test scheduled for 9 February so will see what the outcome of that is. Although, I must say that at the moment I kinda feel like it would be a miracle if the test came back positive!

Embryo update

2011-01-25T22:58:00.002+13:00

So the clinic telephoned this morning and updated me on the following - 5 eggs fertilised "properly"; two eggs fertilised "abnormally"; and two didn't fertilise at all (due to being immature eggs).

At first I thought 5 wasn't that good a number (given that 9 eggs were collected) but the lab nurse said they were really happy with that result and she said they all looked "really good"! So that's a relief. :-)

I now can't stop thinking about my five wee embryonic 'children' busy dividing furiously in a lab petrie dish, lol! I really hope that they all keep dividing ok over the next few days and that none of them arrest between now and transfer....

The nurse said that, going by how they are progressing, the transfer day will be on day 5 (this Saturday), so a time was made for me to come into the clinic at 10.00am on Saturday.

Now I just have to wait out the rest of the week til Saturday, woohoo!

Retrieval day!

2011-01-24T21:28:00.004+13:00

So, today was retrieval day. G and I got to the clinic just before 8.00am and G did a good job of distracting me from my nerves by having lots of random conversations with me, lol!

The nurse then took me to the prep room where she went though everything that was going to happen and got me changed into the hospital gown. Next in came the lab technician who also explained what she would be doing with each of the follicles during the procedure (i.e. checking them all for viable eggs etc). She said she would ring me sometime tomorrow morning with an update on their progress (following their insemination with the donor sperm later on today) and at that stage I will be advised of the likely transfer date.

Next came in the doctor (M) who inserted the IV line, after which I was ready for theatre. G came in and sat next to where I was lying and generally kept me calm. :-) The procedure itself was mostly ok but because I had specifically requested to be given the least amount of medication necessary to sedate me, unfortunately there were some times that I could feel the needle going into the follicle and it definitely DID hurt. Twice the nurse had to top up my IV line, but because the procedure was so quick (20 minutes tops in the theatre) the ovary prodding was practically over by the time the additional drugs kicked in, lol!

Ironically, it was actually G that had more issues than me during the procedure. The heat of the theatre made her almost faint (as she is currently 6 months pregnant) and the nursing staff suddenly had to wheel her out and lie her down in the recovery room long before the doctor had finished with me, lol! So, here I was, in the recovery room, sitting on the chair feeling pretty well my usual fine self (since I'd had so few meds); and there was G, collapsed on the recovery room bed drinking sweet drinks and eating the muffins provided by the nursing staff!! It was hilarious! Not sure that she will live that down for a while, hehehe.

So... as for the eggs, we got nine! :-) The lab technician who spoke to me before the procedure said that on average two-thirds of the eggs retrieved will fertilise (the outcome being more or less depending on the quality and maturity of the eggs etc) so hopefully that will give me approximately six or so fertilised eggs to work with providing the embryos all continue to develop as they are supposed to.

After about an hour in the recovery room (and once G was feeling alright again, lol!) I was then discharged and taken home by G to chill out and sleep on and off for the rest of the day. The nurse also gave me a bunch of progesterone suppositories which I have to start from tomorrow morning. I am really not looking forward to those as I have heard they can produce some pretty nasty side effects(!) but it has to be done in order to best prepare the lining of my uterus for the hopeful implantation in a few days time.

Lead up to retrieval

2011-01-23T21:26:00.004+13:00

Today I am starting to get nervous about the retrieval procedure tomorrow. I hope it all goes ok and that I don't suffer any (or too many) side effects. My dear friend G is going to pick me up at around 7.30am tomorrow morning as I am due to be at the clinic by 8.00am.

I have asked her to stay with me throughout the whole procedure as I really don't want to be 'alone' throughout it - especially if the meds have a strong amnesia-like affect on me, as it would be nice to hear later on exactly what happened from someone who was fully conscious, lol. :-) She has reassured me that she will stay by my side throughout the whole thing which is of big comfort right now.

Well, off to bed now to try and get some decent sleep before tomorrow....

Second scan

2011-01-22T15:19:00.001+13:00

This morning I got up early and went to the lab before 8.00am to have my second blood test drawn, so that the results would be through to the clinic by the time of my second scan at 12.30pm.

At my scan just after 12.30pm, I was told that my follicles are growing very fast - at a rate of 5mm a day instead of the usual 2-3mm. He thought that there might be approximately 10 mature eggs sitting there already; and as my largest follicle is already 23mm, he said that if we waited until Wednesday to retrieve them I would likely lose ALL of the eggs due to over-maturity!

So the decision was made to proceed with the retrieval at 8.30am on Monday morning. This means I need to take the final injection for this cycle tonight (the trigger shot, Ovidrel, at 8.30pm) and that is it (for medications) until Monday!

I have to fast from midnight Sunday and need to be at the clinic by 8.00am on Monday to allow time for the necessary prep before surgery. It turns out that my favourite doctor (of the three at the clinic) is supposed to be doing the retrievals on Monday, which was great to hear!

Tomorrow is a 'day off' from all of the drug taking which will be good. :-)

First scan

2011-01-21T22:50:00.000+13:00

This morning I went to the clinic for my first scan and blood test and got the surprise of my life when the doctor said I might be ready to have my egg retrieval done as soon as this coming Monday!! (Cycle day 11.) So far there are 11 follicles growing on one side and 6 on the other! The lead follicle is already at 18mm and several others were in the teens. The doctor said that some of the 11 follicles were very small and may not develop any further, but there were at least 8 from that side that were progressing well.

I was expecting my retrieval surgery to be in at least another week's time (next Friday) or Wednesday at the earliest (as my clinic only does its retrievals on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and my cycle only just started last Friday). So when I got into work I had to do a mad flurry of diary reorganising just in case I end up away from work on Monday!

The upside of having the retrieval this Monday is that I will end up with less days in total on these drugs - which is a good thing, not only for my body but also for my wallet, lol. :-)

So, tomorrow I go into the clinic again for another scan and blood test which will determine whether or not retrieval ends up being on Monday, or Wednesday after another couple of days' follicle growth. Tonight I take another dose of both the Gonal-F and the Orgalutran injections just like I did last night.

The rate things are currently going, this might end up being the shortest cycle I've ever had, lol! :-)

The introduction of drug #2

2011-01-20T21:44:00.000+13:00

I had my first dose of Orgalutran tonight, so I'm now on to two injections per night. So far so good ... although it has only been 20 minutes since I took my first dose of the new drug, lol. :-)

Tomorrow morning I will head to the clinic before work to get my first blood test and scan done since starting all of these drugs. I am curious to see what it shows! Then one of the nurses will phone me sometime during the afternoon to tell me what, if any, alterations I need to make to my drug dosages.

For now, though, I am heading to bed ready for my early start at the clinic in the morning!

Improvements

2011-01-19T18:41:00.000+13:00

Things have improved on the symptoms front, which now makes me wonder if I did actually have some random 24 hour bug on Monday rather than a reaction to the Gonal-F?? All of the nausea has gone and I have only had a couple of very brief, momentary instances of light-headedness since Monday. Phew. :-)

I am however starting to feel a little PMS-y, with some noticeable twinges going on in my ovaries. So no doubt things are starting to grow down there, lol. Can't wait for my first scan on Friday to see exactly what is going on with my follicles!

Day 2

2011-01-17T22:16:00.000+13:00

Day 2 went fine and I took the second Gonal-F injection as planned in the evening. Then, sometime during the middle of the night, I got up to go to the bathroom. As soon as I stood up the room started spinning. Aaaagh. Didn't think much of it at the time though (as if it was just a momentary thing) and went back to bed.

But when I got up for the day in the morning, the room was still spinning every time I moved as well as feeling nauseous most of the time! So as soon as I got to work (as I was still not feeling any better) I rang the clinic and spoke to one of the nurses. She said she hadn't known of anyone describing those symptoms in reaction to that drug(!) but would speak to one of the doctors. Long story short, it took her most of the day to be able to talk to one of the doctors (as they had a lot of surgeries on today). When the nurse finally rang back, she said that oddly enough the doctor told her they had 3 patients at the clinic in just the last week complain about exactly these same symptoms (plus headaches) while also taking Gonal-F! So they didn't know if this was just a coincidence; or if there is some bug going around the clinic (as we were all in at the clinic at around the same time - last Friday); or if there is something weird about this batch of the drug causing everyone the same symptoms! Ugh.

Anyway, the doctor asked to see me straight after work to check me out and that she would stay behind at the clinic so that I could come in after-hours. When I got there we discussed the available options of (a) continuing with the Gonal-F plus some anti-nausea drugs to help combat the symptoms; or (b) changing to another type of ovary stimulant drug instead of Gonal-F.

In the end I decided to go with getting some anti-nausea tablets prescribed and to keep going as is for now (in case it really just is a random coincidence and is in fact a 24hr bug or something that I have managed to catch at the same time!) as there is the risk we would be compromising the results of this IVF protocol if I starting changing up all the drugs... She said that if the symptoms becomes totally unbearable, there is alway the possibility that we could cancel this cycle (since it has only just barely begun) and reassess with another plan of action next time around, but of course that is only the last resort option.

So... will see what 'symptoms' (if any) appear tomorrow!

The start

2011-01-15T21:50:00.000+13:00

Today marks the start of my IVF cycle with donor sperm. I have decided to blog about it in order to keep a record of all that happens (both the good and the bad) so that I don't forget anything and accurately remember it all! :-)

Yesterday I picked up my first lot of drugs from the clinic. Tonight (cycle day 2) I took my first injection of Gonal-F (150IU) to begin stimulating my ovaries. It felt very surreal to finally be starting this process - surreal but exciting too! I had been anxious pretty much all day about it (not about the injections, but just whether this whole process will work out for me and questioning all the 'what if's' etc with doing this on my own) but once I took the Gonal-F pen in hand I was fine. :-)

I will continue to take the Gonal-F for approximately 12 days. (The exact number of days will of course depend on the blood test and scan results.) On cycle day 7 I will also begin taking Orgalutran to prevent ovulation; and on day 8 (Friday 21 January) I will have my first blood test and scan at the clinic. The results from that will determine what happens next in terms of the next lot of drug dosages etc.

So, here it begins....!